Why does God give us so much pain?

Tuesday...March 27/2012....09:20 a.m. the doctor rushed in to inform Khoka that he has been blessed with a baby boy. Even before he could react the doctor said they were not able to save the new born, however the mother is safe.

It had been a long wait of about 4 years. Visits to doctors, listening to different family members,well wishers and endless hours spent before God praying for a baby.  When his wife gave him the amazing news that she had conceived his joy knew no bounds.  Finally God had heard his prayers.

But what today?  Did He who heard Khoka's prayers decide to withdraw his decision admitting on the sly that he had acted at the spur of the moment. Did God realize his folly? But why did he take so long to decide this? Or is he a sadist?

Eight months the baby was the only topic of discussion for Khoka and his wife.  Did Gublu ( that is what they called him) move? What is Gublu doing?  Did he kick now?  He would call from his office in the middle of a meeting to inquire about Gublu.  And the first time Gublu kicked..he could almost feel the wife's excitement at the other end of the line; she had called him to give him the great news. Oh! how he wished he was home at that time to hug his wife and feel Gublu's movement.

But what today? How would he face his wife?  She had been in excruciating pain just couple of hours ago..how would she take this news? Just then the nurse wheeled in his wife..she seemed to be sleeping soundly after the pangs of childbirth.  Khoka just could not control himself. The ground beneath his feet seemed to melt away. He bent over and kissed her forehead.  A drop of warm tear fell on her!

Does God really know and understand a mother's heart? The doctor report said that the baby could not live due to it being under weight.  Intra uterine growth restriction (IUGR) is what their terminology said. Everything was  fine till the seven months of pregnancy. Then a routine doctor visit said  that the wife's amniotic fluid was very less. This news had an adverse effect on her blood pressure. It shot up without any provocation. But the question remains the same..why did God choose to play spoil sport when everything was going fine? And also when this was detected why did the doctor not have the sense to treat it...she waited for two weeks to decide that Khoka's wife needs to be admitted to the hospital for intravenous hydration. What was going on in the doctor's mind? Did she not have her free will ? Or was she acting on God's behest?  Was this all a divine design? If yes for what purpose?  Questions like this started tormenting Khoka.

Gublu was fine till the last evening. Khoka could clearly hear his heart beat when the doctor came  for the routine checkup. The wife's blood pressure had shot up to almost 170mmHg which posed a major risk for both the mother and the baby. He asked the doctor if everything was fine. The doctor said in such cases C-section is not advised;however one could not even let the baby remain in the womb for long. The baby was not able to draw nutrition due to the mother's high blood pressure.  Khoka and his wife had also observed this ..the baby's movement had become very weak. The wife could hardly feel Gublu's kicks. The only option is to induce labor pain and try and deliver the baby through the normal procedure. Oh! how he prayed the entire night hoping everything would be fine the next day.

The wife suddenly opened her eyes.  She inquired about the baby. The nurse told her that the baby was born weak and had difficulty in breathing hence was kept in the incubator. She looked at Khoka for an affirmation. Khoka lied!  He could not be in the room anymore. He was fighting hard to stop the deluge of emotions that hit him. He rushed out. Relatives who were with the couple starting consoling Khoka. At the moment nothing mattered; Khoka could only see moving figures...the world stopped existing for him.

By the time he re-entered the hospital room he had literally buried his past. He first looked at his hands and then his wife's face. He did not know why he did this? The wife was now awake and asked if he had any news about the baby.  She implored him to go to the incubator room to see if the baby was fine. Questions like.."Has someone fed my Gublu? Did the doctor check on Gublu? Why is no one talking about Gublu?..." hit him from all directions. He looked at his hands again. But could not muster the courage to tell her that  these same hands had buried their dear Gublu. Oh! imagine a father's sorrow. With the same hands he wanted to rock his baby's cradle!

The wife asked again. He lied again silently praying that this lie of his should assure him a place in the dark alleys of hell. Hearing the affirmation from her husband the wife slept peacefully thinking her newborn is in safe hands and will be united with her soon. Khoka too lay down. But sleep eluded him.

Why does God give us so much pain?  It is because he wants to instill a fear in us by reminding us that he is the almighty, all powerful who can wield his power any time to subdue us into submission.  Or is it the cycle of karma that our pains and sufferings are a result of our past lives? If if it is karma then whose? Khoka's, his wife's or Gublu's? If it is Khoka's then why punish his wife? Or if it is the wife's then why punish the baby who lived for only ten minutes. Or if it the baby's karma then why did it choose Khoka and his wife as its parents only to give them pain and suffering for a lifetime?

Hard questions but hardly any answers. Meanwhile the wife now knows the truth. Khokha and she are slowly coming to terms with their new life - a life without Gublu and his kicks!